Manners of Tea Ceremony|How to dress, order of seating, and how to drink tea and eat sweets?
The tea ceremony is a traditional Japanese ritual in which the host entertains and serves tea to his or her guests. It is also called "chanoyu. Sen no Rikyu, a tea master active from the Warring States Period to the Azuchi-Momoyama Period, brought the tea ceremony to its peak. Today, there are several schools of tea ceremony, such as Omotesenke, Urasenke, and Mushanokoji Senke, and the spirit of the tea ceremony has been passed down to the present day.
If you are invited to a tea ceremony party, we recommend that you check the basic etiquette. Here, we will introduce the tea ceremony attire, seating order, and how to receive tea and sweets.

Basic Etiquette in the Way of Tea
First, let’s go over the basic etiquette you should know for the tea ceremony. There are several schools of tea ceremony, and their customs may differ. It’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with the basic etiquette and then confirm the specific customs of the school you’re studying.
Entering the Room and Taking Your Seat
Before entering the tea room, you first wash your hands at the hand-washing basin to purify your body and calm your mind. Be sure to say “Excuse me” to the host before entering. At a tea ceremony, the person seated closest to the host is called the “shōkyaku” (principal guest), while the person seated farthest away is called the “makkyaku” (secondary guest).The shōkyaku serves as the representative of the guests. Their role is to converse with the host and ask questions about the day’s tea and tea utensils. On the other hand, the makkyaku is responsible for returning the tea utensils, which have been passed around for viewing, to the host. Since both roles require extensive knowledge of the tea ceremony and consideration for those around them, beginners may feel more at ease by avoiding these positions when choosing where to sit.
How to Drink Tea
Before drinking the tea, say, “I’ll now perform the tea ceremony,” and bow. When drinking the tea, place the tea bowl in your left hand and hold it with your right hand resting lightly on top. Rotate the tea bowl clockwise twice with your right hand before bringing it to your lips.Do not drink the tea all at once; finish it in 3 to 4 sips.When you have finished drinking, wipe the rim clean with your right index finger and thumb, then wipe your fingers with the kaishi. As you did at the beginning, rotate the tea bowl clockwise twice with your right hand, ensuring the side with the design faces the host. Return the tea bowl to its original position in this orientation.
How to Eat Sweets
You should eat the sweets before drinking your tea. When the host says, “Please help yourself to the sweets,” respond with “I’ll have some sweets, thank you,” bow, and then begin eating. When eating the sweets, use utensils such as a kaishi (paper napkin) or a kashikiri (sweet-cutting stick).Transfer the sweets served on the tray onto the kaishi paper, then place the kaishi on the palm of your left hand and use your right hand to eat them. For soft sweets, use the sweet-cutting stick to cut them into bite-sized pieces before eating. When you have finished eating, unfold the used kaishi, fold it neatly, take it home, and dispose of it later.
Etiquette Regarding Attire for the Tea Ceremony
When attending tea ceremony classes or participating in tea gatherings, be sure to wear attire appropriate for the occasion. Here, we’ll explain the dress code for wearing a kimono to a tea ceremony, breaking it down into guidelines for men and women.
Etiquette for Both Men and Women
・Do not wear jewelry
In the tea ceremony, jewelry is not worn to avoid damaging important utensils such as tea bowls. It is considered proper etiquette to remove rings and watches before entering the tea room. Having a jewelry case or similar container ready will help ensure you don’t lose any of the items you remove.
・Wear white tabi (white socks)
When entering the tea room, it is proper etiquette to wear clean white tabi or white socks. Wearing white tabi or white socks symbolizes bringing purity to the tea ceremony. In the tea ceremony, the principles of “Wa-Kei-Sei-Jaku” (Harmony, Respect, Purity, and Tranquility), which embody the spirit of Sen no Rikyū, are highly valued.Of these, “Se” (purity) refers to keeping the tea room and tea utensils clean, and wearing white tabi is part of this. Depending on the school of tea ceremony, you may be asked to change into clean white tabi immediately before entering the tea room, so be sure to bring a spare pair if necessary.
Male
For men’s traditional attire in the tea ceremony, hakama with family crests are generally worn. For the kimono, subdued colors such as grayish-brown, navy blue, or Rikyu blue are preferred. The most common type of hakama is the umano-hakama (which resembles pants).Alternatively, one may choose to wear “andō-hakama” (which have a skirt-like shape). Note that since the haori is worn primarily to protect against the cold and dust when going out, it is not worn during a tea ceremony.
Women
For women’s traditional attire in the tea ceremony, the standard choice is semi-formal wear—such as a solid-colored kimono with a family crest (mon) or a visiting kimono (hōmongi)—paired with a fukuro-obi sash. At more casual tea gatherings, it is also common to wear a komon kimono, which exudes an elegant atmosphere, paired with a Nagoya-obi sash. Guests should take care to ensure that the formality of their kimono does not exceed that of the host’s.Since the appropriate level of formality varies depending on the tea ceremony, it is best to confirm this in advance.
Frequently Asked Questions About Tea Ceremony Etiquette
Finally, here are some frequently asked questions and answers regarding tea ceremony etiquette. The tea ceremony has its own unique customs regarding hospitality and how to partake of the tea. If you’re interested in Japanese culture, be sure to review these frequently asked questions before attending your first tea ceremony or tea gathering.
Is it okay to wear Western-style clothing to a tea party?
While traditional Japanese attire is generally expected for the tea ceremony, some schools allow participants to attend tea gatherings in Western-style clothing. Even when attending in Western-style clothing, please observe the appropriate dress code.
When attending in Western-style clothing, both men and women should wear white socks. For men, formal attire such as a dark-colored, solid-colored suit is appropriate.For women, pantsuits, knee-length skirts, or dresses are recommended. Since you will be sitting in the seiza position during the tea ceremony, if wearing a skirt, it should be long enough to cover your knees when seated. If wearing stockings, be sure to layer white socks over them. It is also important to keep skin exposure to a minimum.
Why do we rotate the tea bowl in the tea ceremony?
When drinking tea served at a tea ceremony, you first rotate the tea bowl before taking a sip. This etiquette is meant to express humility and respect for the host by avoiding the front of the tea bowl.Teacups used in tea ceremonies have a “front” side where the designs and patterns are most beautifully displayed, and the host presents the cup to the guest with this front side facing them as a gesture of hospitality. In response, the guest rotates the cup to avoid drinking from the front side.
What does “I’d like to watch the tea ceremony” mean?
In the tea ceremony, when a guest is about to drink the tea, they say, “I will now partake of the tea ceremony,” and bow. “O-temae” refers to the series of movements involved in preparing the tea. In other words, the phrase “I will now partake of the tea ceremony” conveys gratitude to the host for their hospitality.In addition, when a guest is about to partake of the tea, they say “I’ll go first” to the person seated next to them. In the tea ceremony, consideration among guests—showing mutual thoughtfulness to ensure an enjoyable gathering—is also highly valued.
Let’s learn the basics of tea ceremony etiquette before attending a tea gathering!
So far, we’ve introduced the basic etiquette of the tea ceremony. Many of you are likely interested in Japanese culture and are thinking about taking up the tea ceremony.In the tea ceremony, there are various rules governing everything from how to enjoy tea and sweets to what to wear. There are several schools of tea ceremony, and etiquette may vary depending on the school. At tea gatherings and lessons, be sure to follow the instructions of your school’s instructor and observe proper etiquette.
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